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I'm pathetic

Compared to you guys, I've barely had to deal with anything at all, but I'm already ready to give up.
Pathetic, I know.

I'm only fourteen. I don't want to die.

I've heard that taking a break might help, so that's what I'm going to do. At least a week. Maybe more. Maybe I won't get on again.

Sure, you can point to any number of people who tried to stop and couldn't. But who knows? Maybe I'll be the first.

Urg

Finally managed to get on and found Spiral's little post. Would it KILL the guy to leave off for a day?
I can't plug it into a translator either since I have no current access to a computer -_-
but I recognize those quotes

GIVE IT BACK

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"thats impossible its just a game isnt it? What the hell was that it's impossible Slenderman's just a game isn't It? NO calm down I need to calm down."

"I'm going to die. How the hell can I survive against It?
spent the last couple of days d(X)ing NO doing research on It it. how can I survive? so many have died Amelia Zero zero zero NO f(x)cus focus."

"Ok. Slightly calmer now. Read an idea to keep an hourly journal holy crap He's he's it's outside NO calm. I read an idea to keep an hourly journal. May change that a bit since I've been keeping a journal like that way before this crap started happening. I'll switch it to a fifteen-minute one that should do, right?"

01001000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110011 01100011 01110010 01101001 01100010 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100110 01101001 01110010 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110010 01100101 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101110 01110100 01110010 01101001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01001010 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100111 01110011 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01001101 01100001 01110011 01110100 01100101 01110010 00101110 00001010 00101110 00101110 00101110 01001001 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100101 01101110 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01100001 01101110 01111001 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01001010 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100111 01110011 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100101 01101110 01110100 01110010 01101001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110000 01101111 01101001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110100 01100101 01110011 00101110 00100000 01000001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101110 01101111 00101100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01110011 01101011 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01111001 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101110 01110100 01110010 01101001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01110101 01110000 00101110 00100000 01000100 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01001010 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110110 01101111 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110110 01100001 01101100 01101001 01100100 01101001 01110100 01111001 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 00101110 00001010 00101101 01010011 01110000 01101001 01110010 01100001 01101100  

Well, crap

I lost my journal -_-
Wouldn't make such a big deal about it except it has details in it about a certain Eldritch Abomination...I don't want my family to find it. They need to stay out of this mess, stay safe.
It could be anywhere in my house
Crap

Yes. I know

That you have a name, Spiral, it's the only thing you left uncoded in your little note (I changed the password again by the way).
I tried to send a picture of the note to blogger via my cellphone, but, seeing as I sent it around 5 and it's 8:30ish now, I think it's safe to say that it's not gonna show up.
So, here's a picture of the letter:
...no, I lied, apparently I can't upload pictures directly from my iPod -_-
so basically the letter was what appeared to be a bunch of gibberish, with dots over some of the letters. I've capitalized the letters that have dots over them:
"dEAr jEtu,
I wOUmf lIlE tO gIwE yOU An EArma wEmeOpE tO tiE fAnInb. If yOU cOnvIqUE tO rEtIuw, I cAopOw gUAstAqxEE tiE sAgEvb Of yOUs dEAs, dEAs bsOvkEv.
-spiral"

The first thing that caught my eye was that the code looked eerily similar to one that my friend (that I have since lost touch with) showed me in middle school. The idea was that the first consonant in each word was what it would normally be, but each consonant after it was one more letters down the line. For example, in the word "hello," the 'h' would still be an h, but the firs 'l' would be an m, and the second l would be an o. However, the vowels remained as they are except for a dot over them.
How Spiral learned this code I don't know, unless...no. I'm not even going to consider thT possibility.
Anyway, I applied those rules and came up with this:
"Dear Jess,
I would like to give you an early welcome to the family. If you continue to resist, I cannot guarantee the safety of your dear, dear brother.
-Spiral

...if you touch ANY of my brothers(brotherS. I have three. Not one) Spiral, I swear I'll cave your head in. I don't care if you used to be Casey or not.

01010111 01101111 01110111

01001001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100001 01100100 01101101 01101001 01110100 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110000 01100001 01110011 01110011 01110111 01101111 01110010 01100100 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110001 01110101 01101001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101101 01110000 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110011 01101001 01110110 01100101 00101100 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01001010 01100101 01110011 01110011 00101110 00001010 01000100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01110100 01110100 01101100 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101 01110011 01110011 01100001 01100111 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01101110 01101001 01101110 01100111 00111111 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01110000 01110101 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100101 01100110 01100110 01101111 01110010 01110100 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110111 01110010 01101001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00101110 00001010 01001111 01101000 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101110 01100001 01101101 01100101 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00101110 00001010 00101101 01010011 01110000 01101001 01110010 01100001 01101100

Well

I appear to have my own personal proxy now. Yippee -_-
I'll post a picture of the note I found taped to my front door later (I'm at school now). Haven't been able to get around to decoding it, but the code looks frighteningly familiar....

Idiots

Was that guy in a hoodie at the grocery store supposed to do something?
Cause my mom took one look at him and sprayed him with pepper spray I didn't even know she had.

Thanks for decoding that, Joce.

EDIT: forgot to mention that I've changed my password. Good luck figuring this one out

01010111 01100101 01101100 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101101 01101001 01101100 01111001 00101110 00100000 01001111 01110010 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110100 00111111 00100000 00001010 01010101 01101110 01100110 01101111 01110010 01110100 01110101 01101110 01100001 01110100 01100101 01101100 01111001 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01001010 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01110101 01101110 01100001 01100010 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100011 01101100 01100001 01110010 01101001 01100110 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110001 01110101 01101001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00101110

The Equinox Poem

I don't know a proxy (yet), so this guy's fictional (sorry, Frap).
I suck at writing stories, so I'll stick to poetry (iambic pentameter if anyone cares), thankyouverymuch.


It came to him one night-he was alone.
Commanding him to go, It then vanished
And then he had no choice but to obey.

No name had he that he could remember
The faceless visage of It filled his dreams.

Remembering the last time he tried to
Escape Its clutches, he commenced to kill
Many Runners, Fighters, and others too.
Ending so many lives, he ceased to feel
Many emotions other than cold fear.

But then one girl he had been told to kill
Easily smiled at him as she lay dying.
Running from the death scene he then collapsed,
Laughing at the girl's foolish final act
And yet there was a pain now gathering
Standing in his chest it began to spread
Then his mirth stopped and he began to cry

So many people'd died, how had he not
Understood their pain and their suffering?
Many hours he curled up, lying there
Mad at his decisions, he then go up
Ever sure for once of his decision

Running now, he fights against It as well.

The Equinox

Noon GMT is... 8:00 am EST, right?

Timeline

I now have four more followers! Welcome Joce, Frap, Maze, and Janus! ^^

I've been thinking of making a timeline. But I'm not going to make it "On X day X blog made its first post." Instead I'll keep track of the major battles and things going on in this war. That's what this whole mess is, isn't it? A war.
So in this timeline I'll have events like the Battle of the Solstice, Massacre at PTC, Battle of Boston, etc.

...this is gonna take a lot of archive binging -_-

So

This is my third post today, way more than I like to do.
But I'm kind of scared right now and for once it has nothing to do with Slendy

A rumor's been going around at school that there's going to be a shooting today at third lunch. I had first lunch, so I'm fine, but a kid in my class right now just came in saying that a bunch of people are crowded around the cafeteria, refusing to go in.
I really hope nothing happens.

Oh My Gosh

M is alive
Yeah, I never knew him
I got involved in this whole mess long after he vanished
But still

He's alive

The Slenderman

Tall and faceless, he creeps upon you at night
Your neighbors oblivious to your plight
Trying to escape, you search for the light
But you cannot escape your foe's mindcrushing might.

Many have fought him, trying to win
But, one by one, their vision grows dim
For now, some survive- others hang from tree limbs
But our foe's greatest weakness we're unable to pin.

The Solstice: a chance to win once and for all
A chance for our foe to finally fall
Many rallied to Zero's last call
But as night night fill, still it stood- faceless and tall

After all's said and done, we're left in despair
A despair so widespread that it fills the whole air
How can we defeat something that so easily tears
Through flesh and bone, enters our secret lairs?

Through this all, the stubborn still fight
Though so many are oblivious to our plight
We still have hope as we search for the light
And one day we'll defeat our foe's tremendous might.

Ignore the Post

Alright, alright, ignore that last post. I was pretty depressed at the time and wasn't thinking clearly.

I have some self-esteem issues. That, added to the fact that this morning I had an argument with my grandmother in which she insulted me pretty much every way possible, did not help my state of mind. I don't think I'll be staying over at her house again any time soon.
So yeah. Please disregard that last post. ^^

In other news, my neighbor's cat vanished. I really, really hope what I think happened to it didn't happen...

In other other news, I tried putting up an operator symbol in my room last night. I awoke to the smell of burned paper. Somehow, that slip of paper with the operator symbol on it had been burned to a crisp without setting off any smoke alarms.
...jeez, I had to use the backspace key so many times while I wrote that paragraph. I am deathly afraid of fire. Have been ever since an...incident last summer. I really don't like thinking about it.

It'd be nice to know that someone cares
But it's something I've never known

Saturday

....I considered not posting this, for reasons I'll get into later, but I suppose I may as well.
Posting this from my business class (which I have every other day, not that anyone cares).

Saturday night, while my grandparents were gone, was...probably the scariest time of my life.
In every window, no matter what room I went into...it was there. It didn't even really do anything; it just stood there. I finally tried to escape to my grandmother's behemoth of a closet since it was the only place in the house without a window that I could actually fit into.
I opened the door and there it was. It didn't move, it just stared at me. How can something without any eyes even stare at someone like that????? but it was so obvious it was watching me.
to put it mildly, i freaked out and ran back downstairs. i eventually settled by my laptop, with a huge window next to me so i could keep it in sight.
...i think i hardly dared to move at all for the two hours it took my grandparents to get back.

...thinking back at how much so many other people have gone through with slendy, it makes that night seem like nothing. i'm almost i'm ashamed at how easily i freaked out. that was really the main reason why i originally wasn't going to post about it. everyone else has gone through so much. it makes this pale by comparison.

So I'm at my grandparents' house right now. And in about fifteen minutes they're going out for the night, leaving me by myself until eight thirty, nine-ish.

...did I mention there's a small forest in their backyard? ;_;

Me

Because I don't have anything better to do.

I'm fourteen, a freshman in high school. The school I go to is absolutely insane. On Wednesday there were at least two fights that I know of for sure (more if rumors are to be believed), on Thursday a police officer had to taze a kid three times, and today there was an ambulance outside. Also apparently some time this week a kid got stabbed in the bathroom. -_-

I have three younger brothers, one's almost two, one's five, and one's almost nine. We live with our parents and our fish, dog, and two cats. My mom was adopted and my dad's from Canada.
My friends (who as far as I know remain uninfected) introduced me to the Slenderman mythos through Marble Hornets right about when "Season Two" started. I followed that for a while before I discovered the blogs about a month ago, and it all spiraled from there.

...strange. A certain Eldritch Abomination has yet to make its appearance yet tod o hai there Slendy
That's bizarre I'm not as freaked out right now. Maybe it's because it's full daylight for once and it's not appearing half hidden at ten at night or behind a tree. ...but that doesn't really make sense either since I can now see it in all its freakishness.
Idk. Maybe I'm just getting used to it.

I'm going to kill it.

Last night my younger brother woke up screaming. I rushed into his room to find him sobbing to our parents about "the man" and "no face."
LEAVE MY FAMILY ALONE, SLENDY
I DON'T CARE THAT MY BROTHERS ALL FALL INTO YOUR NORMAL HUNTING RANGE

LEAVE
THEM
ALONE

...ok, needed to get that out of my system...

In other news, I now have two followers! (welcome stormecho and Lucien)

I guess that means I can't be all antisocial now ;_;

...joking.

mostly.

My turn to be cryptic

The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and go. what was, what will be, what is, may yet fall under the Shadow.

In an Age long past, the Dragon fell in an attempt to defeat the Dark One.
Will the Dragon be Reborn?
...has the Dragon been Reborn?

The People of the Dragon continue to fight the Shadow, never wavering in their battle.
Who is the One-Eyed Fool? And the Blacksmith? What of the Forsaken? Who are they?

...some say those fallen under the Shadow can not be saved.
But remember, no one is too far fallen under the Shadow that they cannot make their way back to the Light.
No one.

Double Ugh

So my mom's pretty pissed at me right now. She says that as soon as I finish this project I'm working on my laptop will be taken away for a month.
Not sure how that's going to work since I have at least one project for school lined up that I'm going to need my laptop for.
...why am I even worrying about school? I don't really expect to survive the next two years, anyway.

In any case, I figured I'd let you, dear nonexistent readers, know that I won't be on too much for the next month. I'll be able to use my ipod and phone to post, so this blog won't be totally bereft of updates, but future posts won't be very long for a while.

Ugh

So I'm trying not to post more than once a day, but Tall Dark and Faceless is determined to stand outside all night long and not let me sleep, so here I am.

...Blogger was being stupid when I tried to "follow" blogs and made me enter each URL individually...and yes I'm following (almost) all of you anonymously so don't go wondering why your followers count hasn't gone up. I can't change if I'm following a blog publicly or anonymously either until Blogger stops being stupid.

HOLY CRAP look who's suddenly RIGHT UP AGAINST THE FREAKIN WINDOW
trying not to hyperventilate....focus, focus, find something else to concentrate on...

Well, the title of this blog. I think I was trying to shoot for something between "Dead Man Walking" and "An Idiot Abroad." At least that's what I think of when I look at it.

...god I'm really tired but i'm scared to go to sleep and i'm scared to get up to close the curtains and what should i do what should i doooooo

ok i'm fine i'm fine
(more than) slightly freaked out but fine
time to go look at the small army of blogs i'm now following

EDIT: (3/10) Figured out how to just remove the section on my profile that shows what blogs I'm following, so that's one problem solved ^^

Ok

So I'm an idiot. Yes. I've established that.
Why didn't I listen to all the warnings? They were pretty much impossible to ignore.
"Stop. Don't get involved. He'll come after you next."
It's a story you've all heard before. I thought it was a game, blah blah blah, now I'm next.
And, like any other good Slender-stalked victim, I have to blog about it.
Whatever.

IDIOT

I'm an idiot.